Anonymous said: Is your boyfriend a feminist too?
He is a “he for she” for sure!
Anonymous said: Are you a feminist?
On human relationships
I’m in a relationship. I have made an agreement with a man named Cody to exclusively be romantically involved with him. To not seek other partners and to keep all my sexual advances aimed at him.
And that makes me happy, because I enjoy being in a relationship. I enjoy having someone to fall back on, who loves and supports me and wishes me the best. Who plans his future alongside my own and takes my feelings, plans, strengths, and weaknesses into consideration when he makes decisions. I like knowing where my next 1,000 orgasms are coming from. I like the level of commitment we have with each other. I like that we are in love an happy and satisfied in our relationship without having to prove things to the outside world. He is my partner and I cherish him.
But he isn’t the only person who I love and cherish. Nor is he the only person who I feel supports me, or takes me into consideration when making decisions, or loves me and cherishes me.
I like having these other friends— these other relationships that are still important to me even though I’m in a monogamous relationship. I get a lot out of that.
These other relationships, friendships, involve my “people”. Chelsey is my person in the most appropriate Grey’s Anatomy reference way possible. And so is David.
In fact, I refer to David as my other half— and to Chelsey as my soul mate. If I have ever referenced Cody as such, the times have been few and far between. Mostly I refer to him as simply my “partner”, because he is.
And I refer to David as my other half because he is. He is one of the most important people in the world to me. And just because I’m in a relationship with Cody doesn’t mean that David and I’d relationship automatically becomes less important. It doesn’t mean that u should distance myself from him.
Of course, if our relationship violated the terms of Cody and I’s agreement for ours, that would be another story. But we asked for sexual and romantic monogamy from each other— not exclusive emotional intimacy.
Is this something people understand? I’m seriously asking because I don’t think it is.
I say this because when I speak with people about Chelsey and David and cody I sometimes get judgy looks, I don’t know if that’s because people simply don’t understand that you can love people who aren’t your romantic partner or what, but people don’t seem to get it.
I just think it’s silly that people believe that your romantic partner must, at all times, be THE most important person in the world to you. And that if they are not that your relationship must have problems.
Cody is important to me. But David was important to me and Chelsey was important to me long before he came along. They don’t become less important because I’m dating cody.
It’s just…. It’s apples and oranges, right? Cody is my partner and I love him— and the way I conduct out relationship in no way affects my relationship with David and chelsey. And vice verse.
I suppose that all four of us understanding that is all that matters. But I find it obnoxious having to explain to people that it’s okay to not only care about your partner.
So many things have already made me happy today:
1. The first thing out of my 3yo nieces mouth this morning was “Aunt Tori come give me a hug!”
2. My niece is obsessed with and very attached to the stuffed bear I got her for her birthday. I’m glad she loves her gift so much
3. Kleenex is advertising itself as a must-buy if you’re purchasing The Fault in Our Stars. Which is both hilarious and accurate
4. Cody and I are going to see homes today that we’re super interested in buying, so I’m optimistic about these being the ones!
That’s it for now— but after a super rough day yesterday the little highlights of my morning have made all the difference
Anyone else feel like college is sucking the life out of them?
I. Need. Sleep.
Chocolate milk and boob cake will make this day better.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Heading out in the morning with my sister for my first run in two weeks. What up, B?